Kickin' Cancer's Ask

One week.
DONE!
Three more to go!

It sure is nice to reach milestones..even if they are small.

So how has my week been? In someways, wonderful, and in others..well not so great. Starting radiation was one of the scariest things i think i have ever done. It is WAY scarier then the time Ambyr and i climbed Mt Whitney and got lost on the last 500 ft and ended up scaling this steep and very high up rock wall, only to have to down climb it (we were crying and shaking and SO scared...it was VERY freaky to look down (100 ft below us) and see the rocky ground extending all the way into the valley!). I have recently tried out visualization, which actually was really helpful. It calmed me down instantly. I felt my pulse slow down, my mind stop racing and my body stop shivering. I thought about climbing Mt. Hood via the Leuthold Couloir (back in 2005 maybe). I tried thinking about how my boots felt in the snow, and against my shin. I thought about making steps and having to first sink my ice axe into the snow and how that felt in my hand and arm. I thought about the cold wind on my face and how the ice chunks felt as they screamed down the mountain and hit me in my face. I remember feeling so good on that climb...though it was a tough one, i remember a sense of gratitude (for being even able to climb the mtn) as well as a great sense of accomplishment. I guess it makes sense why i would use that memory to help me get though this "adventure."

Anyhow, [my] radiation techs are awesome and have made me feel progressively better each time i go in with their smiles and kindness. It was scary on lots of different fronts. Basically you don't really feel anything or see anything occurring...but you know something is going on because you hear a beeping noise (just like when you get an x-ray, but a longer more sustained beep) and you can smell the radiation. At first i thought i could feel something but now that my mind a little more settled when it starts, i don't really think i can. I think it was just my mind wanting to feel something...


*I'll try and post some pictures today or tomorrow (11/14) so check back for some "eye candy."*